A Dead Cert!
A man went to Chester races and noticed a priest in the paddock watching the horses before each race. Every now and again he gave a blessing to one of the horses. When the race was over the man realised that that particular horse had won – and the same thing happened in the next four races.
The man said, “I’m not going to let this priest out of my sight. I’m going to back the horse he blesses.” In due course a horse came past the priest and he gave it an extra large blessing. Immediately the man ran to the bookie and placed £20 on it at 100 to 1. The race started and the horse shot out of the stalls and was in the lead. Then it got to the last furlong, fell and had to be shot.
The man found the priest and said. “Father, why didn’t that one come in first?” The priest calmly said, “My son, are you a Catholic?” “No, Father.” “That explains it,” said the priest, “You obviously don’t know the difference between a blessing and the last rites!”